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Rarely do we hear about the grief and pain a widower may feel when losing their spouse. In our society, these types of conversations may skip over how a widower feels after suffering a loss such as this. Men are stereotyped and expected to remain stoic, pillars of superhuman strength.

Your overall response to this storm of emotions can be to protect you from experiencing more pain than what you can bear. As is typical with any significant trauma, your brain has a built-in coping mechanism known as “widow brain” after suffering the loss of your spouse. 

It is not uncommon for seemingly random thoughts to strike me at equally random-seeming places. When it happens I am often inwardly taken aback, but outwardly unperturbed. This has happened quite often over the last two years, and I have become pretty well accustomed to handling the thoughts and whatever emotional fallout ensues. This one almost caused me to take a physical step backward.

I am raising a daughter without a mother.

We always hesitate to gender stereotype around here, but we know from research that men are just a lot less likely to seek support than women.   So even if this post doesn’t apply to you, we encourage you to share it with any grieving dads in your life who might benefit.

Raising children is not easy, even for the most seasoned parents. And being a single father to a daughter can be particularly daunting, as you navigate all the social situations, complex feelings, and developmental changes your daughter experiences throughout her youth—without a firsthand understanding of some of what she's going through.

If you find yourself raising children as a single parent after losing your spouse, it's important to take care of yourself while simultaneously guiding your kids through their own grief. The following dos and don'ts can help.